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I've never known a man or woman walk out of a relationship with one of us — no matter how brief, torturous, or complicated — and say that they regretted it. Sure, we're also tragically beautiful and flawless and we've got excellent taste in fashion and art (and basically everything else), but we're also smart, both book-wise and street-wise.

well, anything you need calling out on, and we'll make sure you check yourself (before you wreck yourself), because we're into the whole honesty thing.

(OK, fine, William Faulkner is a pretty dope wordsmith too.

Fine, America, you can have that.) A Russian girl is raised to think and act and live independently.

Unless you screw your Russian girl over, and then it’s end times for you, pal.